Star Wars Episode IX Trailer is Here!

I do my best to avoid the full length trailers for movies I am really excited for. For example, I refuse to watch any of these newer Avengers: Endgame trailers purely out of fear. Trailers these days give the whole plot away. I just caught the trailer for Johnny Depp’s new movie The Professor and I swear I know the entire movie now. Mark my words. Depp will be diagnosed with cancer, throw his normalcy in the trash, gain a new outlook on life and then beat cancer as a whole new man with appreciation for the smaller joys of life. I want a better Pirates finale so bad.

On the tails of The Last Jedi, which was a great film in my humble little opinion, JJ Abrams regains control of the Star Wars franchise. We get to watch as he, somehow, tries to connect the dots from the many changes in direction Rian Johnson threw into effect. The trailer starts with some hardcore parkour action from Rey. I don’t know how much time has passed, but she’s just a beast with the force now. Chick hits a corkscrew gainer and slashes a tie fighter with her lightsaber. I’ve never seen Luke do something crazy like that. We also see JJ Abrams scrambling to put the pieces of this trilogy back together by literally putting the pieces of Kylo’s mask back together. So much for letting the past die. We see Kylo running in the wilderness with some stormtroopers on the hunt for some Jedi booty. I think backtracking his character to before the struggle within him is tricky and I hope they are more nuanced with that.

All we get of Finn and Poe is some new twisties and a Nathan Drake scarf. Also, BB-8 has a robot dog? Bark-2D2? I will say Billy Dee Williams looks great as Lando. I had seen pictures of him looking older and weathered, but they got him looking really good after all these years. Finally, he has his ship back. Han has had his joint since the Gambino days. Sheesh.

It looks like there’s some cool speeder bike fights, I wish JJ brought back some pod racing too. Probably not the only thing he’d be bringing back from the prequels… wink wink. We’ll get there. Aside from a C3PO sighting, dude got two golden arms now, we also see Carrie Fisher. I think the verdict is that they spliced in some unused Episode 8 footage of her. I hope it fits into the plot well; I wouldn’t want the story of her last film to be how out of place her scenes were. Rest in peace, Princess.

Our final shot is the crew running up on what seems to be the abandoned remains of the Death Star, probably sitting there since the original series. Luke’s voice over reminds us that “No one’s ever really gone” which is followed by Palpatine’s creepy laugh. Bad guys just laugh for no reason. I love when movies do that. It’s how I spot a writer who just knows happy stuff is scary in the right context. Things like children singing, clowns with balloons and that cat singing “Mama te quiero” in that one Tom and Jerry episode. Is that last one just me?

I’m pretty excited for the most part. Honestly, I’m not too crazy about the title The Rise of Skywalker, but maybe because it is so fresh. I’ll sit with it a while. I know they don’t mean Luke, that boy died from sweating too hard during yoga in the last one. It’s a safe bet they mean Anakin. I hope they are trying to let Hayden get some of this new Star Wars money. I’m on board. I don’t hate the prequels, I’m a 90’s baby.

My only recommendation to you is the Star Wars Christmas Special. Don’t look it up, just watch it. It’s probably on YouTube. Prepare to be blown away.

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